Social stories are an incredibly powerful tool for teaching young children about social norms. It's no secret that one of the most effective ways to support a child's learning is through literature. However, I have had a heck of a time finding simple (but not too simple), developmentally-appropriate social stories that use similar language to what we use in the Pre-K classroom.
So I decided to write my own.
Families, feel free to use these stories at home as a tool for starting or continuing a conversation with your child about social norms. All stories with a link can be downloaded and printed. If there isn't a link yet, that means that the story isn't quite complete yet with pictures (so stay tuned).
Kitty Cats Include Others
a social story to teach children how to include others in play
Magical Creatures Make Great Friends
a social story to teach child how to initiate, join, and sustain play
Ninjas Use Helping Hands
a social story to teach children how to use gentle hands in play and times of conflict
My Body is a Traffic Light!
a social story to teach children about the message their face and body language is sending to their friends
Kings (and Queens) Listen to Others
a social story to encourage natural leaders to listen to others' ideas in play
Dogs Woof. Cats Meow. People Talk.
a social story to teach children the importance of speaking in a clear voice without whining
Bucket-Fillers Tell the Truth
a social story to teach children the importance of telling the truth
Princesses (and Princes) Use Polite Words
a social story to teach child to use polite words
Showing posts with label conflict resolution. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conflict resolution. Show all posts
Sunday, January 21, 2018
Friday, December 1, 2017
The Art of Listening
Adults. We talk a lot. We're not always the best listeners when it comes to children. It's part of our nature to want to solve problems and impart our own wisdom. To teach, really. When it comes to young children, there are times when we, as teachers of life, just can't help ourselves.
But learning when to bite our tongue can also be a very powerful - and challenging - exercise.
The other day a child came to school with a problem that needed to be solved. The swings are a very popular place on the playground - often having a line of four or five children long - and there was no good way to save one's place to go to the bathroom, get a coat, or grab a quick drink of water.
Being the great problem-solver that she already is, this child came to school with a plan. She had written out the names of five friends on separate pieces of paper to place on the swings as "placeholders" should the need arise.
Every fiber in my adult/teacher being wanted to point out the potential problems to this well-meaning child:
How are the other children going to feel that don't have placeholders?
But these pieces of paper won't hold up ten minutes in a Pacific Northwest downpour!
It's not okay to save swings in the first place!
I ended up commending her for her attention to the problem and her attempt to come up with a solution. Then I suggested we talk as a group about other possible solutions to the problem. Our meeting went something like this:
Me: Hannah noticed a problem on our playground. There's no good way to save your swing or place in line if you have to go to the bathroom. Does anyone else see this as a problem?
Everyone raises their hand.
Me: So do you think we should be able to save a swing? Even if there's a line of people waiting?
Everyone nods unanimously and excitedly. (This took every ounce of restraint not to point out the issues with this)
Student: You can save your place inside but you can't save your place outside! (Hmmmm....never thought about that)
Me: So this is obviously a problem. What are some ways that we can solve it?
Hannah (showing the name cards that she made) explains her idea (solution #1)
Student: My name isn't in there!
Hannah: I could make a card for everyone in the class. (solution #2)
Student: What about the sand timer? (solution #3)
Me: How would you use the sand timer to solve this problem?
Student shrugs his shoulders. A few others solutions were then discussed, including teachers saving spots for students - an idea that was quickly dismissed by students for being too impractical.
Me: Okay, so we agree that we all want to be able to save our swing. Do you see any potential problems with Hannah's pieces of paper? (Part of me wishes that I had encouraged them to use the papers to see how quickly they would fall apart but we were having such a good conversation at this point and I saw it as an opportunity to deepen their thinking even more).
Student: We could lose them.
Student: They could get wet.
Student: What about a beanbag instead? Everyone starts agreeing.
Me: Okay, so we'll use a beanbag to hold places in line. Do we all agree on this solution? An overwhelming agreement finalized the meeting.
Within only five minutes, a teacher-guided / student-led conversation had resulted in a real problem being solved. Students felt validated. Cooperation was rewarded. A feeling of mutual respect was instilled. And while I can still see the potential problems down the road (how long can you save a swing or place for?), they will be rich sources for authentic conflict resolution strategies.
I encourage you to bite your tongue the next time you are around children willing and wanting to solve a problem. Guide them to think critically. Encourage them to consider their peers' viewpoints. Challenge them to come up with - and stick to/reconsider - their solutions. Doing this will result in genuine and authentic learning that will lead to autonomous, empowered citizens of the world.
But learning when to bite our tongue can also be a very powerful - and challenging - exercise.
The other day a child came to school with a problem that needed to be solved. The swings are a very popular place on the playground - often having a line of four or five children long - and there was no good way to save one's place to go to the bathroom, get a coat, or grab a quick drink of water.
Being the great problem-solver that she already is, this child came to school with a plan. She had written out the names of five friends on separate pieces of paper to place on the swings as "placeholders" should the need arise.
Every fiber in my adult/teacher being wanted to point out the potential problems to this well-meaning child:
How are the other children going to feel that don't have placeholders?
But these pieces of paper won't hold up ten minutes in a Pacific Northwest downpour!
It's not okay to save swings in the first place!
I ended up commending her for her attention to the problem and her attempt to come up with a solution. Then I suggested we talk as a group about other possible solutions to the problem. Our meeting went something like this:
Me: Hannah noticed a problem on our playground. There's no good way to save your swing or place in line if you have to go to the bathroom. Does anyone else see this as a problem?
Everyone raises their hand.
Me: So do you think we should be able to save a swing? Even if there's a line of people waiting?
Everyone nods unanimously and excitedly. (This took every ounce of restraint not to point out the issues with this)
Student: You can save your place inside but you can't save your place outside! (Hmmmm....never thought about that)
Me: So this is obviously a problem. What are some ways that we can solve it?
Hannah (showing the name cards that she made) explains her idea (solution #1)
Student: My name isn't in there!
Hannah: I could make a card for everyone in the class. (solution #2)
Student: What about the sand timer? (solution #3)
Me: How would you use the sand timer to solve this problem?
Student shrugs his shoulders. A few others solutions were then discussed, including teachers saving spots for students - an idea that was quickly dismissed by students for being too impractical.
Me: Okay, so we agree that we all want to be able to save our swing. Do you see any potential problems with Hannah's pieces of paper? (Part of me wishes that I had encouraged them to use the papers to see how quickly they would fall apart but we were having such a good conversation at this point and I saw it as an opportunity to deepen their thinking even more).
Student: We could lose them.
Student: They could get wet.
Student: What about a beanbag instead? Everyone starts agreeing.
Me: Okay, so we'll use a beanbag to hold places in line. Do we all agree on this solution? An overwhelming agreement finalized the meeting.
Within only five minutes, a teacher-guided / student-led conversation had resulted in a real problem being solved. Students felt validated. Cooperation was rewarded. A feeling of mutual respect was instilled. And while I can still see the potential problems down the road (how long can you save a swing or place for?), they will be rich sources for authentic conflict resolution strategies.
I encourage you to bite your tongue the next time you are around children willing and wanting to solve a problem. Guide them to think critically. Encourage them to consider their peers' viewpoints. Challenge them to come up with - and stick to/reconsider - their solutions. Doing this will result in genuine and authentic learning that will lead to autonomous, empowered citizens of the world.
Thursday, October 6, 2016
Conflict Resolution 101
Conflicts. They are an everyday, ongoing occurrence in the preschool classroom.
They are also a critical part of the preschool classroom. For many children, preschool is their first opportunity for learning how to get along with others. For others, perhaps those who have gone to daycare or have siblings, preschool is more like Conflict Resolution 102.
Nevertheless, we take problem solving seriously here at preschool. Really my ultimate goal is for my students to be able to solve their own "mouse" problems with little to no adult intervention by the time they walk out of my door to kindergarten. So what's a mouse problem you ask? Well, really anything that is not dangerous or threatening. "Elephant" problems, on the other hand, require immediate teacher help. I would say nearly 95% of our problems at preschool are mouse problems - wanting the same toy, for example.
In the classroom we have a problem-solving basket that includes different choices for working through problems. Some of these include:
- using a sand timer to take turns
- rock, paper, scissors
- eeny, meeny, miny, mo
- go make a different choice
- find a way to play together
And these are are well and good strategies for working through conflicts. We discuss during non-heated times of the day. We model. We role-play. These strategies are important to empower our students and support their autonomy.
So what's the problem? Easy peasy right?
Well, preschoolers are emotional! They're self-indulgent by nature! One could even argue they are irrational at times!
For example, during a recent conflict over a toy, it was quickly apparent that teacher intervention needed to occur when the girls started to get physical:
Situation: two girls were arguing over a plastic cow in the block area. Grabbing began to occur.
Me: what is the problem here? (taking the cow behind my back)
Girls: I want the cow! No, I had it first!
Me: I can see that you both want the cow (stating the problem). Is grabbing it away from each other working for you (determining the problem's value)?
Girls: No!
Me: So how are we going to solve this problem? (motioning towards our problem solving basket)
Girl A: get the sand timer
Girl B: rock, paper, scissors
Me: Okay, so which one are you going to choose? (make a plan)
So, I can tell you that this is where it all fell apart. Neither girl was willing to compromise in order to get to the next step which is to follow through with the plan. And, since it was clear that my attention was needed elsewhere in the classroom, I asked a simple question:
"So do you want to hear how Teacher Kari would solve this problem?" They nodded. I proceeded to take the cow away from the block area with a short explanation of why I made that choice. As I looked back, they both looked a little bewildered at first. But then - off they went - to another area.
The take away? Conflict resolution is a work in progress. It takes time. It takes consistency. It takes willing participants. However, with work (and perhaps some compromises), they will get there. And perhaps someday they won't rely on the teacher for intervention because she might not provide a solution that you like!
They are also a critical part of the preschool classroom. For many children, preschool is their first opportunity for learning how to get along with others. For others, perhaps those who have gone to daycare or have siblings, preschool is more like Conflict Resolution 102.
Nevertheless, we take problem solving seriously here at preschool. Really my ultimate goal is for my students to be able to solve their own "mouse" problems with little to no adult intervention by the time they walk out of my door to kindergarten. So what's a mouse problem you ask? Well, really anything that is not dangerous or threatening. "Elephant" problems, on the other hand, require immediate teacher help. I would say nearly 95% of our problems at preschool are mouse problems - wanting the same toy, for example.
In the classroom we have a problem-solving basket that includes different choices for working through problems. Some of these include:
- using a sand timer to take turns
- rock, paper, scissors
- eeny, meeny, miny, mo
- go make a different choice
- find a way to play together
And these are are well and good strategies for working through conflicts. We discuss during non-heated times of the day. We model. We role-play. These strategies are important to empower our students and support their autonomy.
So what's the problem? Easy peasy right?
Well, preschoolers are emotional! They're self-indulgent by nature! One could even argue they are irrational at times!
For example, during a recent conflict over a toy, it was quickly apparent that teacher intervention needed to occur when the girls started to get physical:
Situation: two girls were arguing over a plastic cow in the block area. Grabbing began to occur.
Me: what is the problem here? (taking the cow behind my back)
Girls: I want the cow! No, I had it first!
Me: I can see that you both want the cow (stating the problem). Is grabbing it away from each other working for you (determining the problem's value)?
Girls: No!
Me: So how are we going to solve this problem? (motioning towards our problem solving basket)
Girl A: get the sand timer
Girl B: rock, paper, scissors
Me: Okay, so which one are you going to choose? (make a plan)
So, I can tell you that this is where it all fell apart. Neither girl was willing to compromise in order to get to the next step which is to follow through with the plan. And, since it was clear that my attention was needed elsewhere in the classroom, I asked a simple question:
"So do you want to hear how Teacher Kari would solve this problem?" They nodded. I proceeded to take the cow away from the block area with a short explanation of why I made that choice. As I looked back, they both looked a little bewildered at first. But then - off they went - to another area.
The take away? Conflict resolution is a work in progress. It takes time. It takes consistency. It takes willing participants. However, with work (and perhaps some compromises), they will get there. And perhaps someday they won't rely on the teacher for intervention because she might not provide a solution that you like!
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