Social stories are an incredibly powerful tool for teaching young children about social norms. It's no secret that one of the most effective ways to support a child's learning is through literature. However, I have had a heck of a time finding simple (but not too simple), developmentally-appropriate social stories that use similar language to what we use in the Pre-K classroom.
So I decided to write my own.
Families, feel free to use these stories at home as a tool for starting or continuing a conversation with your child about social norms. All stories with a link can be downloaded and printed. If there isn't a link yet, that means that the story isn't quite complete yet with pictures (so stay tuned).
Kitty Cats Include Others
a social story to teach children how to include others in play
Magical Creatures Make Great Friends
a social story to teach child how to initiate, join, and sustain play
Ninjas Use Helping Hands
a social story to teach children how to use gentle hands in play and times of conflict
My Body is a Traffic Light!
a social story to teach children about the message their face and body language is sending to their friends
Kings (and Queens) Listen to Others
a social story to encourage natural leaders to listen to others' ideas in play
Dogs Woof. Cats Meow. People Talk.
a social story to teach children the importance of speaking in a clear voice without whining
Bucket-Fillers Tell the Truth
a social story to teach children the importance of telling the truth
Princesses (and Princes) Use Polite Words
a social story to teach child to use polite words
Showing posts with label problem solving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label problem solving. Show all posts
Sunday, January 21, 2018
Friday, December 1, 2017
The Art of Listening
Adults. We talk a lot. We're not always the best listeners when it comes to children. It's part of our nature to want to solve problems and impart our own wisdom. To teach, really. When it comes to young children, there are times when we, as teachers of life, just can't help ourselves.
But learning when to bite our tongue can also be a very powerful - and challenging - exercise.
The other day a child came to school with a problem that needed to be solved. The swings are a very popular place on the playground - often having a line of four or five children long - and there was no good way to save one's place to go to the bathroom, get a coat, or grab a quick drink of water.
Being the great problem-solver that she already is, this child came to school with a plan. She had written out the names of five friends on separate pieces of paper to place on the swings as "placeholders" should the need arise.
Every fiber in my adult/teacher being wanted to point out the potential problems to this well-meaning child:
How are the other children going to feel that don't have placeholders?
But these pieces of paper won't hold up ten minutes in a Pacific Northwest downpour!
It's not okay to save swings in the first place!
I ended up commending her for her attention to the problem and her attempt to come up with a solution. Then I suggested we talk as a group about other possible solutions to the problem. Our meeting went something like this:
Me: Hannah noticed a problem on our playground. There's no good way to save your swing or place in line if you have to go to the bathroom. Does anyone else see this as a problem?
Everyone raises their hand.
Me: So do you think we should be able to save a swing? Even if there's a line of people waiting?
Everyone nods unanimously and excitedly. (This took every ounce of restraint not to point out the issues with this)
Student: You can save your place inside but you can't save your place outside! (Hmmmm....never thought about that)
Me: So this is obviously a problem. What are some ways that we can solve it?
Hannah (showing the name cards that she made) explains her idea (solution #1)
Student: My name isn't in there!
Hannah: I could make a card for everyone in the class. (solution #2)
Student: What about the sand timer? (solution #3)
Me: How would you use the sand timer to solve this problem?
Student shrugs his shoulders. A few others solutions were then discussed, including teachers saving spots for students - an idea that was quickly dismissed by students for being too impractical.
Me: Okay, so we agree that we all want to be able to save our swing. Do you see any potential problems with Hannah's pieces of paper? (Part of me wishes that I had encouraged them to use the papers to see how quickly they would fall apart but we were having such a good conversation at this point and I saw it as an opportunity to deepen their thinking even more).
Student: We could lose them.
Student: They could get wet.
Student: What about a beanbag instead? Everyone starts agreeing.
Me: Okay, so we'll use a beanbag to hold places in line. Do we all agree on this solution? An overwhelming agreement finalized the meeting.
Within only five minutes, a teacher-guided / student-led conversation had resulted in a real problem being solved. Students felt validated. Cooperation was rewarded. A feeling of mutual respect was instilled. And while I can still see the potential problems down the road (how long can you save a swing or place for?), they will be rich sources for authentic conflict resolution strategies.
I encourage you to bite your tongue the next time you are around children willing and wanting to solve a problem. Guide them to think critically. Encourage them to consider their peers' viewpoints. Challenge them to come up with - and stick to/reconsider - their solutions. Doing this will result in genuine and authentic learning that will lead to autonomous, empowered citizens of the world.
But learning when to bite our tongue can also be a very powerful - and challenging - exercise.
The other day a child came to school with a problem that needed to be solved. The swings are a very popular place on the playground - often having a line of four or five children long - and there was no good way to save one's place to go to the bathroom, get a coat, or grab a quick drink of water.
Being the great problem-solver that she already is, this child came to school with a plan. She had written out the names of five friends on separate pieces of paper to place on the swings as "placeholders" should the need arise.
Every fiber in my adult/teacher being wanted to point out the potential problems to this well-meaning child:
How are the other children going to feel that don't have placeholders?
But these pieces of paper won't hold up ten minutes in a Pacific Northwest downpour!
It's not okay to save swings in the first place!
I ended up commending her for her attention to the problem and her attempt to come up with a solution. Then I suggested we talk as a group about other possible solutions to the problem. Our meeting went something like this:
Me: Hannah noticed a problem on our playground. There's no good way to save your swing or place in line if you have to go to the bathroom. Does anyone else see this as a problem?
Everyone raises their hand.
Me: So do you think we should be able to save a swing? Even if there's a line of people waiting?
Everyone nods unanimously and excitedly. (This took every ounce of restraint not to point out the issues with this)
Student: You can save your place inside but you can't save your place outside! (Hmmmm....never thought about that)
Me: So this is obviously a problem. What are some ways that we can solve it?
Hannah (showing the name cards that she made) explains her idea (solution #1)
Student: My name isn't in there!
Hannah: I could make a card for everyone in the class. (solution #2)
Student: What about the sand timer? (solution #3)
Me: How would you use the sand timer to solve this problem?
Student shrugs his shoulders. A few others solutions were then discussed, including teachers saving spots for students - an idea that was quickly dismissed by students for being too impractical.
Me: Okay, so we agree that we all want to be able to save our swing. Do you see any potential problems with Hannah's pieces of paper? (Part of me wishes that I had encouraged them to use the papers to see how quickly they would fall apart but we were having such a good conversation at this point and I saw it as an opportunity to deepen their thinking even more).
Student: We could lose them.
Student: They could get wet.
Student: What about a beanbag instead? Everyone starts agreeing.
Me: Okay, so we'll use a beanbag to hold places in line. Do we all agree on this solution? An overwhelming agreement finalized the meeting.
Within only five minutes, a teacher-guided / student-led conversation had resulted in a real problem being solved. Students felt validated. Cooperation was rewarded. A feeling of mutual respect was instilled. And while I can still see the potential problems down the road (how long can you save a swing or place for?), they will be rich sources for authentic conflict resolution strategies.
I encourage you to bite your tongue the next time you are around children willing and wanting to solve a problem. Guide them to think critically. Encourage them to consider their peers' viewpoints. Challenge them to come up with - and stick to/reconsider - their solutions. Doing this will result in genuine and authentic learning that will lead to autonomous, empowered citizens of the world.
Thursday, March 2, 2017
The Benefits of Sensory Play
Can I just tell you how much I love messy sensory play? Whenever we get our hands dirty at preschool - I mean really, really sticky and gooey - I get to experience the biggest smiles, the best questions, and the most articulate observations from my young scientists.
Plus, in what other point in life do you get the freedom to fully immerse yourself in the exploration of new materials using most of your senses without judgment? (And, in what point in life can you do this without needing to clean up the big mess that you make afterward?!).
Research shows that sensory play - with no preconceived knowledge or expectations - is critical during the early childhood years. As children work together and talk through the process of exploring new materials, cooperative and problem-solving skills are promoted as well as essential opportunities for linguistic development. For example, some children might love the different textures while their friend does not. Or a friend might describe a substance using completely different words or phrases. Oftentimes, we need to take turns or even share materials throughout the process, which requires complex conversational and problem solving skills. As a result, children begin to see that others may have different viewpoints than their own and start to develop a rich vocabulary that can then be transferred to others areas of learning.
When students are encouraged to make authentic observations, their cognitive abilities to make decisions, ask questions, and reflect on their learning are sharpened. Inquiry and evaluation are naturally embedded in the sensory play process. Because of its appeal to 'test the limits' for some children, the self control 'muscle' is also exercised rigorously during sensory play.
Sensory play also encourages fine motor development. Sometimes materials are small and hard to catch. They might have a texture that makes simply picking them up difficult (water beads are amazing). Sometimes materials change from liquid to solid, which requires a considerable amount of hand strength to pull apart (oobleck is tons of fun). Whatever the experience, sensory play is essential in developing the pincer grasp and hand strength necessary for future writing.
For me, the creative aspect of sensory play is what it's truly all about. Process-based activities provide the open-ended learning experiences that children need to gain confidence in the classroom and in life. While I take certain precautions to ensure that students are comfortable (setting out aprons, providing spoons for the reluctant learner), I think it's incredibly important to allow young children to immerse themselves in these sensory experiences with few limitations.
When we restrict play ("Don't get your clothes messy!") or place our own labels on learning experiences ("Yuck! I don't like that stuff!"), we are essentially robbing children of necessary opportunities to develop confidence, autonomy, and self efficacy in all areas of development (cognitive, linguistic, physical, and social/emotional). On the other hand, when we allow children to explore their world with wholehearted enthusiasm (or not), we send the message that exploration and higher thinking is important. We give the child the power to place value on the learning experiences. Those 'little things,' like dirty clothes, aren't that big of a deal. Establishing a love for learning, play, creativity, and thinking outside the box IS a big deal. That's what I want my students to take away from the sensory experiences that I provide in the classroom.
We made our own 'moon dust' this week. We started with baking soda and described our observations using four of our senses. Someone suggested that moon rocks are grey, so we added some tempera paint. Someone else suggested they sparkle, so in went the glitter. We added water to add some texture to our moon rocks. How about we make them explode? The children were more than happy to oblige by adding vinegar to their tubs of goo. Overheard during the process:
"Whoa! It's hard like concrete!"
"I wish I could take this home!"
"Look! It's alien goo!"
"This kinda reminds me of pudding."
"It's making craters! Like the moon!"ð‘‚½
More reading on the subject of sensory play in early childhood:
Look, Listen, Touch, Feel, Taste: The Importance of Sensory Play
Why is Sensory Play so Important? (this article provides some great home opportunities for sensory play)
Developing and Cultivating Skills Through Sensory Play
Plus, in what other point in life do you get the freedom to fully immerse yourself in the exploration of new materials using most of your senses without judgment? (And, in what point in life can you do this without needing to clean up the big mess that you make afterward?!).
Research shows that sensory play - with no preconceived knowledge or expectations - is critical during the early childhood years. As children work together and talk through the process of exploring new materials, cooperative and problem-solving skills are promoted as well as essential opportunities for linguistic development. For example, some children might love the different textures while their friend does not. Or a friend might describe a substance using completely different words or phrases. Oftentimes, we need to take turns or even share materials throughout the process, which requires complex conversational and problem solving skills. As a result, children begin to see that others may have different viewpoints than their own and start to develop a rich vocabulary that can then be transferred to others areas of learning.
When students are encouraged to make authentic observations, their cognitive abilities to make decisions, ask questions, and reflect on their learning are sharpened. Inquiry and evaluation are naturally embedded in the sensory play process. Because of its appeal to 'test the limits' for some children, the self control 'muscle' is also exercised rigorously during sensory play.
Sensory play also encourages fine motor development. Sometimes materials are small and hard to catch. They might have a texture that makes simply picking them up difficult (water beads are amazing). Sometimes materials change from liquid to solid, which requires a considerable amount of hand strength to pull apart (oobleck is tons of fun). Whatever the experience, sensory play is essential in developing the pincer grasp and hand strength necessary for future writing.
For me, the creative aspect of sensory play is what it's truly all about. Process-based activities provide the open-ended learning experiences that children need to gain confidence in the classroom and in life. While I take certain precautions to ensure that students are comfortable (setting out aprons, providing spoons for the reluctant learner), I think it's incredibly important to allow young children to immerse themselves in these sensory experiences with few limitations.
When we restrict play ("Don't get your clothes messy!") or place our own labels on learning experiences ("Yuck! I don't like that stuff!"), we are essentially robbing children of necessary opportunities to develop confidence, autonomy, and self efficacy in all areas of development (cognitive, linguistic, physical, and social/emotional). On the other hand, when we allow children to explore their world with wholehearted enthusiasm (or not), we send the message that exploration and higher thinking is important. We give the child the power to place value on the learning experiences. Those 'little things,' like dirty clothes, aren't that big of a deal. Establishing a love for learning, play, creativity, and thinking outside the box IS a big deal. That's what I want my students to take away from the sensory experiences that I provide in the classroom.
"Whoa! It's hard like concrete!"
"I wish I could take this home!"
"Look! It's alien goo!"
"This kinda reminds me of pudding."
"It's making craters! Like the moon!"ð‘‚½
More reading on the subject of sensory play in early childhood:
Look, Listen, Touch, Feel, Taste: The Importance of Sensory Play
Why is Sensory Play so Important? (this article provides some great home opportunities for sensory play)
Developing and Cultivating Skills Through Sensory Play
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Gun Play
We are working on storytelling right now which always brings up the age old question of gun play at school. Preschool-aged children - particularly boys, but not always - are like moths to a flame when it comes to guns. Research is all over the place as to why this occurs - whether it be an innate feeling to experience power, exposure to violence in the home, and/or influence of the media and other toys. Whatever the reason(s) may be, this fascination comes out in stories and all kinds of play.
Now, where we live, guns are kind of a taboo topic. Most people shudder at the thought of weapons of any sort - especially around young children - because they go against their core family values. Many consider guns to promote violence and suggest an ill will towards others. Perhaps parents worry that their gun-loving child may become a gun-loving adult.
Can we support a child's social and emotional growth and learning through play but tell them that certain topics should not be explored? How do we support students who do not like playing "with" guns when this play is all around them?
My own philosophy of violent play at school has changed throughout the last few years. Currently, I approach gun play at preschool in much the same way that I approach other "rules" in the classroom - to provide the tools for the children themselves to determine what should be allowed and what should not. While I used to have a "no guns" rule at school, I've found that this really didn't accomplish much at all. Rather, having a zero tolerance for guns actually created a significant increase in negative attention to those who often played this way - particularly, boys.
Reminding students about the two rules we came up with as a class - we are kind and we are safe - during gun play allows them the chance to decide if it should be permitted. For example, when a group of children are up on the boat 'shooting' their unconsenting peers below, we can talk about how we have the right to feel safe at school and, therefore, the game needs to change directions. On the other hand, when a group of children are playing 'good guys and bad guys' (which is another post entirely), and everyone feels safe playing the game, the game continues as is.
Sometimes these scenarios can be a little tricky, of course. Like the time a child was insisting he was shooting "love arrows" at everyone. Sigh.
Personally, I hate guns and find myself cringing when children shoot at each other. However, I also consider gun play to be developmentally appropriate within the preschool classroom and, therefore, must work hard to separate these conflicting beliefs. With proper modeling of non-violent behavior, sensitivity to those who prefer not to play this way, and open communication with families, I believe there can be a place for violent play in the early childhood setting.
Now, where we live, guns are kind of a taboo topic. Most people shudder at the thought of weapons of any sort - especially around young children - because they go against their core family values. Many consider guns to promote violence and suggest an ill will towards others. Perhaps parents worry that their gun-loving child may become a gun-loving adult.
Can we support a child's social and emotional growth and learning through play but tell them that certain topics should not be explored? How do we support students who do not like playing "with" guns when this play is all around them?
My own philosophy of violent play at school has changed throughout the last few years. Currently, I approach gun play at preschool in much the same way that I approach other "rules" in the classroom - to provide the tools for the children themselves to determine what should be allowed and what should not. While I used to have a "no guns" rule at school, I've found that this really didn't accomplish much at all. Rather, having a zero tolerance for guns actually created a significant increase in negative attention to those who often played this way - particularly, boys.
Reminding students about the two rules we came up with as a class - we are kind and we are safe - during gun play allows them the chance to decide if it should be permitted. For example, when a group of children are up on the boat 'shooting' their unconsenting peers below, we can talk about how we have the right to feel safe at school and, therefore, the game needs to change directions. On the other hand, when a group of children are playing 'good guys and bad guys' (which is another post entirely), and everyone feels safe playing the game, the game continues as is.
Sometimes these scenarios can be a little tricky, of course. Like the time a child was insisting he was shooting "love arrows" at everyone. Sigh.
Personally, I hate guns and find myself cringing when children shoot at each other. However, I also consider gun play to be developmentally appropriate within the preschool classroom and, therefore, must work hard to separate these conflicting beliefs. With proper modeling of non-violent behavior, sensitivity to those who prefer not to play this way, and open communication with families, I believe there can be a place for violent play in the early childhood setting.
Thursday, October 6, 2016
Trial and Error
As parents and teachers, our first instinct is often to be proactive when it comes to potential problems that our children might encounter.
We provide reminders throughout the day ("be careful!"). We remove potential hazards from the area. We create rules ("slides are only for going down, not up") that we think will provide order to an otherwise busy and unpredictable environment.
I'm certainly not discounting the gut instincts of parents who deem these actions important for certain children in certain situations.
However, for most of the 3 - 5 year old children at our school, a certain amount of risk is healthy and important for cognitive development. We have real hammers and nails. We have uneven (and sometimes tippy) logs for imaginative play. We often work with sharp wood pieces and messy - sometimes uncomfortable - art materials. Through supportive "supervision without constant intervention," we allow children to explore the world around them and, yes, even make mistakes.
When we back off on some of our less critical rules and provide opportunities for children to make their own, this is where real growth and learning occurs.
Case in point:
Despite multiple attempts by the parents (and teachers at times) to persuade her otherwise, one girl adamantly arrived at school every day in flip flops. While mom and dad and I had discussed the issue (we run! we climb! we're outside a LOT!), it had become a battle that the parents had wisely decided to relent. It was time for her to figure it out on her own.
Fast forward to yesterday and a group of girls were in the middle of a fabulous game of something-or-other that involved going up the slide, down the rickety ladder, up the stairs, and then backwards down the climbing wall (all the "wrong" way to do those things, right?).
Friend 1 went down the wall. No problem. Friend 2 when down. No problem. Friend 3 went down. No problem. And then the girl with flip flops went down. Except her flip flop caught on the top "step" and down she went - on her back - and landed with a thud on the ground.
Oh boy, it hurt. She cried. Nearly all of the children abandoned their games and ran to see if she was okay. She got a drink of water. The teacher gave her some hugs and some cool band-aids.
And then there was the take-away - oh so pointedly claimed by the girl herself - that flip flops were not the best choice at school.
On the outside, I listened to her and even maybe gave her a little nod. On the inside, I jumped for joy that she had some to this conclusion on her own. I was so proud of her! Despite my natural inclination for wanting to validate her, I also wanted her to totally own this experience and take away without an adult's "final word". And she did! (And I think the other children learned a little something from her mistake as well).
AMENDMENT: yep, you guessed it. She came to school in flip flops again. Got to love the predictable unpredictability of preschoolers!
We provide reminders throughout the day ("be careful!"). We remove potential hazards from the area. We create rules ("slides are only for going down, not up") that we think will provide order to an otherwise busy and unpredictable environment.
I'm certainly not discounting the gut instincts of parents who deem these actions important for certain children in certain situations.
However, for most of the 3 - 5 year old children at our school, a certain amount of risk is healthy and important for cognitive development. We have real hammers and nails. We have uneven (and sometimes tippy) logs for imaginative play. We often work with sharp wood pieces and messy - sometimes uncomfortable - art materials. Through supportive "supervision without constant intervention," we allow children to explore the world around them and, yes, even make mistakes.
When we back off on some of our less critical rules and provide opportunities for children to make their own, this is where real growth and learning occurs.
Case in point:
Despite multiple attempts by the parents (and teachers at times) to persuade her otherwise, one girl adamantly arrived at school every day in flip flops. While mom and dad and I had discussed the issue (we run! we climb! we're outside a LOT!), it had become a battle that the parents had wisely decided to relent. It was time for her to figure it out on her own.
Fast forward to yesterday and a group of girls were in the middle of a fabulous game of something-or-other that involved going up the slide, down the rickety ladder, up the stairs, and then backwards down the climbing wall (all the "wrong" way to do those things, right?).
Friend 1 went down the wall. No problem. Friend 2 when down. No problem. Friend 3 went down. No problem. And then the girl with flip flops went down. Except her flip flop caught on the top "step" and down she went - on her back - and landed with a thud on the ground.
Oh boy, it hurt. She cried. Nearly all of the children abandoned their games and ran to see if she was okay. She got a drink of water. The teacher gave her some hugs and some cool band-aids.
And then there was the take-away - oh so pointedly claimed by the girl herself - that flip flops were not the best choice at school.
On the outside, I listened to her and even maybe gave her a little nod. On the inside, I jumped for joy that she had some to this conclusion on her own. I was so proud of her! Despite my natural inclination for wanting to validate her, I also wanted her to totally own this experience and take away without an adult's "final word". And she did! (And I think the other children learned a little something from her mistake as well).
AMENDMENT: yep, you guessed it. She came to school in flip flops again. Got to love the predictable unpredictability of preschoolers!
Conflict Resolution 101
Conflicts. They are an everyday, ongoing occurrence in the preschool classroom.
They are also a critical part of the preschool classroom. For many children, preschool is their first opportunity for learning how to get along with others. For others, perhaps those who have gone to daycare or have siblings, preschool is more like Conflict Resolution 102.
Nevertheless, we take problem solving seriously here at preschool. Really my ultimate goal is for my students to be able to solve their own "mouse" problems with little to no adult intervention by the time they walk out of my door to kindergarten. So what's a mouse problem you ask? Well, really anything that is not dangerous or threatening. "Elephant" problems, on the other hand, require immediate teacher help. I would say nearly 95% of our problems at preschool are mouse problems - wanting the same toy, for example.
In the classroom we have a problem-solving basket that includes different choices for working through problems. Some of these include:
- using a sand timer to take turns
- rock, paper, scissors
- eeny, meeny, miny, mo
- go make a different choice
- find a way to play together
And these are are well and good strategies for working through conflicts. We discuss during non-heated times of the day. We model. We role-play. These strategies are important to empower our students and support their autonomy.
So what's the problem? Easy peasy right?
Well, preschoolers are emotional! They're self-indulgent by nature! One could even argue they are irrational at times!
For example, during a recent conflict over a toy, it was quickly apparent that teacher intervention needed to occur when the girls started to get physical:
Situation: two girls were arguing over a plastic cow in the block area. Grabbing began to occur.
Me: what is the problem here? (taking the cow behind my back)
Girls: I want the cow! No, I had it first!
Me: I can see that you both want the cow (stating the problem). Is grabbing it away from each other working for you (determining the problem's value)?
Girls: No!
Me: So how are we going to solve this problem? (motioning towards our problem solving basket)
Girl A: get the sand timer
Girl B: rock, paper, scissors
Me: Okay, so which one are you going to choose? (make a plan)
So, I can tell you that this is where it all fell apart. Neither girl was willing to compromise in order to get to the next step which is to follow through with the plan. And, since it was clear that my attention was needed elsewhere in the classroom, I asked a simple question:
"So do you want to hear how Teacher Kari would solve this problem?" They nodded. I proceeded to take the cow away from the block area with a short explanation of why I made that choice. As I looked back, they both looked a little bewildered at first. But then - off they went - to another area.
The take away? Conflict resolution is a work in progress. It takes time. It takes consistency. It takes willing participants. However, with work (and perhaps some compromises), they will get there. And perhaps someday they won't rely on the teacher for intervention because she might not provide a solution that you like!
They are also a critical part of the preschool classroom. For many children, preschool is their first opportunity for learning how to get along with others. For others, perhaps those who have gone to daycare or have siblings, preschool is more like Conflict Resolution 102.
Nevertheless, we take problem solving seriously here at preschool. Really my ultimate goal is for my students to be able to solve their own "mouse" problems with little to no adult intervention by the time they walk out of my door to kindergarten. So what's a mouse problem you ask? Well, really anything that is not dangerous or threatening. "Elephant" problems, on the other hand, require immediate teacher help. I would say nearly 95% of our problems at preschool are mouse problems - wanting the same toy, for example.
In the classroom we have a problem-solving basket that includes different choices for working through problems. Some of these include:
- using a sand timer to take turns
- rock, paper, scissors
- eeny, meeny, miny, mo
- go make a different choice
- find a way to play together
And these are are well and good strategies for working through conflicts. We discuss during non-heated times of the day. We model. We role-play. These strategies are important to empower our students and support their autonomy.
So what's the problem? Easy peasy right?
Well, preschoolers are emotional! They're self-indulgent by nature! One could even argue they are irrational at times!
For example, during a recent conflict over a toy, it was quickly apparent that teacher intervention needed to occur when the girls started to get physical:
Situation: two girls were arguing over a plastic cow in the block area. Grabbing began to occur.
Me: what is the problem here? (taking the cow behind my back)
Girls: I want the cow! No, I had it first!
Me: I can see that you both want the cow (stating the problem). Is grabbing it away from each other working for you (determining the problem's value)?
Girls: No!
Me: So how are we going to solve this problem? (motioning towards our problem solving basket)
Girl A: get the sand timer
Girl B: rock, paper, scissors
Me: Okay, so which one are you going to choose? (make a plan)
So, I can tell you that this is where it all fell apart. Neither girl was willing to compromise in order to get to the next step which is to follow through with the plan. And, since it was clear that my attention was needed elsewhere in the classroom, I asked a simple question:
"So do you want to hear how Teacher Kari would solve this problem?" They nodded. I proceeded to take the cow away from the block area with a short explanation of why I made that choice. As I looked back, they both looked a little bewildered at first. But then - off they went - to another area.
The take away? Conflict resolution is a work in progress. It takes time. It takes consistency. It takes willing participants. However, with work (and perhaps some compromises), they will get there. And perhaps someday they won't rely on the teacher for intervention because she might not provide a solution that you like!
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