Trial and Error

As parents and teachers, our first instinct is often to be proactive when it comes to potential problems that our children might encounter.

We provide reminders throughout the day ("be careful!"). We remove potential hazards from the area. We create rules ("slides are only for going down, not up") that we think will provide order to an otherwise busy and unpredictable environment.

I'm certainly not discounting the gut instincts of parents who deem these actions important for certain children in certain situations.

However, for most of the 3 - 5 year old children at our school, a certain amount of risk is healthy and important for cognitive development. We have real hammers and nails. We have uneven (and sometimes tippy) logs for imaginative play. We often work with sharp wood pieces and messy - sometimes uncomfortable - art materials. Through supportive "supervision without constant intervention," we allow children to explore the world around them and, yes, even make mistakes.

When we back off on some of our less critical rules and provide opportunities for children to make their own, this is where real growth and learning occurs.

Case in point:

Despite multiple attempts by the parents (and teachers at times) to persuade her otherwise, one girl adamantly arrived at school every day in flip flops. While mom and dad and I had discussed the issue (we run! we climb! we're outside a LOT!), it had become a battle that the parents had wisely decided to relent. It was time for her to figure it out on her own.

Fast forward to yesterday and a group of girls were in the middle of a fabulous game of something-or-other that involved going up the slide, down the rickety ladder, up the stairs, and then backwards down the climbing wall (all the "wrong" way to do those things, right?).

Friend 1 went down the wall. No problem. Friend 2 when down. No problem. Friend 3 went down. No problem. And then the girl with flip flops went down. Except her flip flop caught on the top "step" and down she went - on her back - and landed with a thud on the ground.

Oh boy, it hurt. She cried. Nearly all of the children abandoned their games and ran to see if she was okay. She got a drink of water. The teacher gave her some hugs and some cool band-aids.

And then there was the take-away - oh so pointedly claimed by the girl herself - that flip flops were not the best choice at school.

On the outside, I listened to her and even maybe gave her a little nod. On the inside, I jumped for joy that she had some to this conclusion on her own. I was so proud of her! Despite my natural inclination for wanting to validate her, I also wanted her to totally own this experience and take away without an adult's "final word". And she did! (And I think the other children learned a little something from her mistake as well).


AMENDMENT: yep, you guessed it. She came to school in flip flops again. Got to love the predictable unpredictability of preschoolers!